Dr. Joanne Cacciatore from the MISS Foundation has said it so well on her blog.

MISS Foundation families were shocked to hear the comments issued from Alan Colmes on Fox News on January 2, 2012. Mr. Colmes’ reference to Mr. Santorum's baby who died, and his desire to spend time with the baby's body during the postmortem period, as "crazy"

If you are as disturbed by this event as I am click here to read Joanne's complete post.

((hugs))

The Duggars have gotten such negative feedback about the photos of their stillborn daughter, Jubilee. I wanted to post this well written piece from someone who 'gets it.'

Do you have photos of your child? We have a few hastily snapped polaroids that the hospital nurse took. I do not display them, but am glad I have them. I wish I had thought or knew to take some that would be easier to look at, like a photo of me holding his hand. You do the best you can at the time.

Prayer

I have noticed a difference in how I pray after the death of Gabriel. I no longer feel I can ask for things specifically. I do not feel I can pray for situations to be resolved or for things to work out how I want. Instead, I find that I pray that I am given the strength to deal with whatever the situation is. Just another way my son has changed me.

BP/USA: Signs from our Babies

I went to an interesting workshop called "Signs for Grief Relief". I thought it was going to be about how to tell if you are healing; instead it was about how to be sensitive to receiving signs from our children. It was presented by Sara Jessie Ruble, a grieving mom, Danine Florina, who has a background of working in hospice, and Jane Bissler, a clinical counselor.

They stated that our kids are always trying to get our attention- they want to communicate with us and we need to be open to it. They stated that 'seeing is believing, and believing is seeing' and you get to choose if you see signs or not.

To encourage signs, they suggest writing them down (including dreams and impressions), be aware of roadblocks such as grief emotions, and chaos. They stated that other people may doubt, but you need to trust.

What do you think of this? I am not sure where I stand. I'd like to hear your ideas and I'm respectful of both sides- those of us who believe in signs and those of us who don't.

I don't want to think that Gabriel is spending a significant part of his energy trying to get my attention. And yet there have been a time or two when something happens that makes me smile and wonder if my boy is saying "hi".

They are holding a spirituality workshop in Chicago in October- you can get more info here

Another topic I've been avoiding- Religion

When I first started this blog I was pretty adamant I was going to avoid the whole religion topic. It can be so very divisive. And I wanted a place where people could come together.

A while ago I had someone send me a pretty nasty email. They had found my Pregnancy Loss Ribbons Awareness site and felt the need to question me further. They suspected I belonged to a particular religious group from one of the links on my resource page. They then told me they could not support me or my site because of that. They were very offended. Personally offended. Like I had knocked on their door and demanded their attention and tried to cram my beliefs down their throats. They then got very personal and told me I was not a Christian. And it went downhill from there.

So I usually try to tiptoe around the issue. About God. About Faith. I figure I have my beliefs in religion and you have yours and maybe they are the same and maybe they are different, but let's all be friends and help support each other as we learn to live without our children.

I occasionally read a comment or post that someone's faith is what pulled them through when they lost their child. How very wonderful. I am so glad that they have that support and strength. I know others do not. And this is what I kind of think about that.

I think maybe there are three types of people.

1. People who have religion and faith and feel that no matter what happens they can rely on God and trust him.

2. People who used to have religion and faith and currently feel very confused, conflicted, hurt and/or angry. They are not sure how or why a loving God would allow these things to happen.

3. People who do not have religion

My definitions may be off a bit. You will not believe how long this just took me to type those out substituting words like 'religion, faith, beliefs, and other alternate words. This is the best I can do for now.

I think we can all coexist together. I'm not trying to stir anything up. Really. Please don't take it that way.

People from group 1 and 3 LOVE LOVE LOVE to hear from others in their group. They feel strengthened and supported.

People from group 1 and 3 maybe don't want to hear from the other group. They either believe or they don't and probably will never change their minds about the topic. They may even get angry at the other group.

The people from group 2 probably sympathize with both group 1 and 3. And at some point they probably cross over to belong to either group 1 or 3.

So what does this have to do with anything? A lot, I think. At least a lot to explain about why I don't talk about religion much. Not because I don't have faith. But because I don't want to isolate or offend any of you who come here to get support about child loss and aren't looking for a Sunday school lesson.

But I do want to post occasionally about topics that touch on religion. I'd like to share my story. Sometimes I'd like to share books or quotes that are religion-y. I do want to share things that helped ME and some of them are indeed churchy.

So, I apologize to anyone who didn't sign up for that. Skip those posts. I'll try to give a heads up that it is coming.

I hope today is gentle for you.
peace-
emily