Mother's Day

I'm repeating my post from last year. I wish you a gentle weekend. ((hugs)) emily

This was written by Kara Jones. Click over to FaveCraftsBlog to read her whole post click here. You can visit Kara's blogs MotherHenna.com and Kota:Knowing Ourselves Through Art



...They were handing out fliers sharing the writing of Julia Ward Howe, first published in 1870 as a protest against the carnage and violence of the Civil War. This was a protest led by women whose sons had died! Bereaved mothers started this tradition of Mothers Day! In the beginning, this was a day of protest, an expression of horrified grief from bereaved mothers who were parted from their sons!! Wow. Okay. That’s a different spin.

So what did Julia have to say back in 1870? You read and see for yourself:

Arise, then, women of this day! Arise all women who have hearts, whether our baptism be that of water or of fears!

Say firmly: “We will not have great questions decided by irrelevant agencies. Our husbands shall not come to us, reeking with carnage, for caresses and applause. Our sons shall not be taken from us to unlearn all that we have been able to teach them of charity, mercy and patience.

We women of one country will be too tender of those of another country to allow our sons to be trained to injure theirs. From the bosom of the devastated earth a voice goes up with our own. It says “Disarm, Disarm! The sword of murder is not the balance of justice.”

Blood does not wipe our dishonor nor violence indicate possession. As men have often forsaken the plow and the anvil at the summons of war, let women now leave all that may be left of home for a great and earnest day of counsel. Let them meet first, as women, to bewail and commemorate the dead.

Let them then solemnly take counsel with each other as to the means whereby the great human family can live in peace, each bearing after their own time the sacred impress, not of Caesar, but of God.

In the name of womanhood and of humanity, I earnestly ask that a general congress of women without limit of nationality may be appointed and held at some place deemed most convenient and at the earliest period consistent with its objects, to promote the alliance of the different nationalities, the amicable settlement of international questions, the great and general interests of peace.

Julia Ward Howe
Boston
1870

Mothers Day came as an answer to Julia’s proclamation. It started as a ceremony of bereavement and then as a movement for peace and action to stop the senseless deaths of children everywhere. Our society can commercialize all they want. Because in my heart of hearts I know the real meaning of this day came from pain, loss, and grief — the same things I am prone to feel on any given Mothers Day. And from now on, when people urge me to celebrate the day, I tell them this:

I’ll celebrate with you if you will first mourn with me. It is the combination of the two that lends itself to the true meaning of Mothers Day!

Cherish Every Moment Cookbook Project

I had an email from Candice back in October when we were in the middle of my flooded house situation and spontaneous home remodel. (for more info on that read my post And the Rain Came Down)

She wrote:
hi there, My name is Candice Sonke and I was just looking at your website. My son was born June 7th of this year at 22 weeks gestational age, after 129 days in the hospital we just took him home (in October). He is a miracle. I have since started collecting the stories of others who have spent any amount of time in an NICU, along with a recipe to put together a cook book of hope.

I recently expanded the invitation to parents who have also lost a child due to premature birth. So I ...would like to invite you to also participate. I am in Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada and am working along side the IWK foundation to raise money for the Neonatal unit in Halifax NS. I hope you would be interested, feel free to also expand this invite to your family, and friends who may have also been touched by a premature baby.

If you have any questions please contact me by email pink262@hotmail.com or on facebook. I have a facebook page dedicated to premature babies called "Cherish Every Moment".

I look forward to hearing from you.
Candice Sonke

proud mom of Aidan-John Michael Quilty born 22 weeks 1lb 9 oz.

I responded in this way;

I appreciate your invitation to join your project. It sounds wonderful. But I wonder if I really fit- Gabriel had died before he was born, and then we were induced. I don't know if that is exactly the kind of inspirational story you are looking for,it is really kind of a downer. Let me know if you'd still like us to be involved.

and had this kind reply:
You know, every story is important for people to hear, no experience is more important than another. I think that your story while it may not be inspiring in the sense that most people would expect, it may help families to really see how blessed that they have been to have a healthy child. Its really your call, I do have families whose children have passed away sending in there stories for just that reason.

I appreciate Candice including us in her project. If you'd like to share your child's story with her contact her by email on on her facebook group Cherish Every Moment.

Good luck with your cookbook, Candice!

Speaking of recipes, I don't particularly like to cook but for New Years Eve I wanted to do something special for my family. I tried an elaborate recipe for Monkey Bread that used yeast and it was a total failure! Here is my old tried and true recipe (compliments of the good folks over at Pillsbury):

Monkey Bread
2 cans refrigerated biscuits
1/2c sugar
1t cinnamon
1 c brown sugar
3/4 c butter or margarine, melted
1/2 c chopped walnuts and/or raisins if desired

Heat oven to 350. Lightly grease a bundt pan with cooking spray. In large plastic bag mix white sugar and cinnamon. Cut biscuits into quarters, place in bag and shake to coat. Arrange in pan adding raisins and walnuts among biscuit pieces. In small bown, mix brown sugar and butter, pour over all. Bake 28- 32 mintues until golden brown. Cool in pan 10 minutes, turn upside down onto serving plate. Pull apart to serve; serve warm.

I'm Famous!

I'm pleased as punch to be Ter's Follower of the Month over on her spankin' new blog With An Angel On My Shoulder- click on over and check it out! Thanks, Ter!

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year!

I was reading my mom's Woman's World Magazine and came across this gem on page 42. I think it was the current issue; I ripped the page out so can't check it. Sorry for any of you fact checking my blog, lol

Be Good to Yourself!
Feeling like you don't do enough?
You do!
Pushing yourself to do more?
Please don't!
Life isn't only about to-do lists
Every now and then, it should be about wish lists- yours!
What do you want?
What do you need?
Pick something big or small and make it happen.
Everyone deserves to be happy.
Including you!

I like the idea that my New Year's Resolutions can be a WISH LIST instead of a To-Do List.

What's on your list for this year??

Beauty in the Breakdown

I want to thanks Stephanie for this honest and beautiful piece:

I didn't set out to creative. In fact, it was the exact opposite. I set out to be destructive. To smash and destroy.

I am a big believer in allowing yourself to feel your emotions, especially when they are grief driven. I think it is dangerous to bury them deep inside of you, where they will fester and stew until they have permeated every cell in your being. For me, I need to sit with my anger, my sadness, and allow it its space. I let my emotions crash over me and drag me under. I feel their weight on top of me, sometimes I am sure they will suffocate me this time, but the wave always recedes eventually.

In the beginning it was all shock and numbness. I felt nothing and so I did nothing. I sat on my couch in the dark and stared at the wall and ate cheerios.

As the shock and numbness wore off I was overwhelmed by the intensity of my emotions and I desperately needed a release. I would become so angry sometimes that I just wanted to smash everything in my house. After breaking some of our dishes I admitted to my grief counselor that I was afraid I was destined for a life of paper plates and dixie cups. She suggested I buy some cheap clay pots and smash those instead. I stopped at AC Moore on my way home and picked some up. The woman at the register began wrapping them in paper and kindly pointed out a small crack in one of the pots to me. I replied flatly that it didn't matter, I was going to destroy them as soon as I got home. It was months before I realized how odd that must have sounded.

When I got home I stood in my driveway and heaved the pots at the asphalt as hard as I could. They smashed splendidly. I loved the crashing sound they made as they shattered against the ground. When I was done I surveyed the driveway, there were shards of broken flower pots everywhere. They had been completely destroyed, and it felt good. I took a deep breath, savoring my destruction, and then went inside. My husband swept them up and threw them away. It continued like this for awhile. A wave of frustration would take hold of me, I would take it out on a flower pot or two, and my husband would take care of the mess. Then one day I picked up a few of the pieces myself. I looked at them and thought about how these broken little pieces used to be a flower pot. They used to have a purpose, they were molded into the perfect shape to hold a beautiful flower, and now they were nothing but wrecked little scraps. I started to cry as I thought of all I thought I was destined to be for Madeline, and how broken and useless I felt without her. I decided not to throw away these broken pieces, to instead give them another chance to be something. I collected them and brought them inside. With workable cement and paint I sculpted them into a mangled heart. This is me, I thought as I examined its rough edges and misshaped form. Badly broken but somehow still here.

Seeing how creation could grow from destruction was inspiring. And using my creativity to give voice to my emotions was liberating. I began painting and sculpting and writing out everything I felt. Sometimes I would begin a piece with a specific idea in mind, but most of the time I just sat down at the canvas with a brush in my hand and tears in my eyes, and I just let it happen. I can't even begin to explain how good it feels to release the those toxic feelings from my body and spread them all over the canvas.

Turning to creative expression was without a doubt the very best thing I did for myself in response to Madeline's death. I would encourage everyone who has lost a child to try to explore your emotions this way at least once. Don't worry if you don't think of yourself as an artistic or creative person, that is not at all what this is about. This is about allowing yourself and your sadness a voice. It is about expressing your honest feelings, feelings that are all too often ignored or avoided in our society. So take a moment to pick up a brush or a pen or an unsuspecting flower pot and just see what comes of it. And if it grows into something that you would like to share, I would love to see it and even add it to the community gallery at Beauty in the Breakdown (with your permission of course.)

peace,
Stephanie Cole

Stephanie is the founder of the Sweet Pea Project (http://www.sweetpeaproject.org) and the artist behind the Beauty In The Breakdown exhibit (http://www.beautyinthebreakdownart.blogspot.com)
More importantly, Stephanie is the mother to a beautiful little girl named Madeline, who passed away after 41 weeks of perfect pregnancy for reasons unknown.

Early Days (and Nights) of Grief

I had this email from Claire:

My 14 mos old daughter Savana Ashlan had recently passed away on Dec.11,2008 from Acute Leukemia. ...we were so unprepared and had no idea she had this till it was too late..my heart is broken into pieces..i cry everyday when i think of her since we miss her so much. But to answer your question from your blog of what helped me the most to deal with her loss is having so much faith in God, hope and prayer but i have made her memory positive by promoting awareness and contributions in her memory to The Leukemia and Lymphoma Society...many people have made donations in her name..i also believe having support from family , friends and neighbors are important and comforting..

I surround myself with angels- figurines, pictures of her around the house..remember her in the happy moments and memories we had with her, her smile the most. I've been trying to talk about her more in a positive way, the good times we had...but now the difficult thing i still struggle each day is at night, when everything is quiet,can't sleep right away since i constantly think about my baby girl and how i miss her just being with me and when i see other little baby girls it still breaks my heart - knowing my baby girl is no longer here.

Claire

I thank Claire for sharing so much with me and with us. I think she expresses so well how the early days feel as we learn to live without our darling babies, and how we can try to 'create our children's legacy' by making their memory positive.

For more info on Leukemia or to donate to the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society, click the link below.

Leukemia & Lymphoma Society

((hugs)) to ((Claire and Savana Ashlan))
Wishing us all gentle days-
peace-
emily

More Women Doing More

Many thanks to the folks over at Women Doing More for posting How to Help Someone Grieving the Loss of a Child. I appreciate the chance to get the word out there- the best (maybe the ONLY thing) to say is "I'm so sorry" and then be there to listen, even after everyone else has gotten back to business as usual.

Why not go check out their blog? They have many inspiring ideas about how small acts can make our world a better place.

But before you head over there, don't forget to sign up for my Peaceful New Year GiveAway