Dr. Joanne Cacciatore from the MISS Foundation has said it so well on her blog.

MISS Foundation families were shocked to hear the comments issued from Alan Colmes on Fox News on January 2, 2012. Mr. Colmes’ reference to Mr. Santorum's baby who died, and his desire to spend time with the baby's body during the postmortem period, as "crazy"

If you are as disturbed by this event as I am click here to read Joanne's complete post.

((hugs))

The Duggars have gotten such negative feedback about the photos of their stillborn daughter, Jubilee. I wanted to post this well written piece from someone who 'gets it.'

Do you have photos of your child? We have a few hastily snapped polaroids that the hospital nurse took. I do not display them, but am glad I have them. I wish I had thought or knew to take some that would be easier to look at, like a photo of me holding his hand. You do the best you can at the time.

Sending ((hugs)) to the Duggar Family who lost baby Jubilee this week during the second trimester.

"If you know someone who has lost a child, and you're afraid to mention them because you think you might make them sad by reminding them that they died--you're not reminding them. They didn't forget they died. What you're reminding them of is that you remembered that they lived, and that is a great gift." -Elizabeth Edwards.

Shakespeare's Hamnet

I found out something interesting. Did you know Shakespeare had a son, Hamnet, who died at age 11? Shakespeare had been writing comedies, but switched to writing his great tragedies in the years following his son's death. Within a few years, he wrote Hamlet. Really adds a whole new twist to the 'To be, or not to be' speech, doesn't it?

To be, or not to be: that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them? To die: to sleep;
No more; and by a sleep to say we end
The heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks
That flesh is heir to, 'tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wish'd. To die, to sleep;
To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub;
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,
Must give us pause: there's the respect
That makes calamity of so long life;
For who would bear the whips and scorns of time,
The oppressor's wrong, the proud man's contumely,
The pangs of despised love, the law's delay,
The insolence of office and the spurns
That patient merit of the unworthy takes,
When he himself might his quietus make
With a bare bodkin? who would fardels bear,
To grunt and sweat under a weary life,
But that the dread of something after death,
The undiscover'd country from whose bourn
No traveller returns, puzzles the will
And makes us rather bear those ills we have
Than fly to others that we know not of?
Thus conscience does make cowards of us all;
And thus the native hue of resolution
Is sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought,
And enterprises of great pith and moment
With this regard their currents turn awry,
And lose the name of action. - Soft you now!
The fair Ophelia! Nymph, in thy orisons
Be all my sins remember'd.

and, from King Lear, where he recognizes his daughter is dead:
No, no, no life!
Why should a dog, a horse, a rat, have life,
And thou no breath at all? Thou'lt come no more,
Never, never, never, never, never!

Presidents and Grief

This is taken from the current issue of the Bereaved Parents of the USA newsletter

We often forget how many people have suffered the same loss as each of us. It is especially interesting to realize that many of our Presidents and their wives are not immune.

John Adams & Abigail had 5 children. One daughter, Susanna, died at one year of age

Thomas Jefferson and Martha had 6 children. Five died: 5month old Jane, a 2.5 week old son, a 4 month old daughter, 25 year old Mary and 3 year old Lucy. What a lot of grief!

James Monroe and Elizabeth had 3 children and their son died at 1 year of age.

John Quincy Adams & Louisa Catherine had 4 children. Catherine died at 1 year of age.

John Taylor & Letitia had 8 children and one, Anne, died in infancy.

Zachary Taylor & Margaret had 6 children. Octavia died at 3 years of age and Margaret at 1 year.

Franklin Pierce & Jane had 3 sons: Franklin died when 3 days old, Frank Robert died at 4 years and Benjamin died at 10.

Abraham Lincoln & Mary Todd had 4 sons: Edward Baker died at 3 years of age, William Wallace who died at 11 years of age and TAd who died at 18 years of age.

Rutherford Hayes & Lucy had 8 children. Joseph died at 2 years of age, George Crook died at 2 years of age and Manning Force died at 1 year of age.

James Garfield and Lucretia had 7 children. Eliza died at 2 years of age and Edward died at 2 years of age.

Chester Arthur & Ellen had 3 children. Willian Lewis Herndon died at 2 years of age.

William McKinley& Ida had 2 children. Both died: Katherine at 4 years of age and Ida at 4 months of age.

Calvin Coolidge & Grace had 2 sons: Calvin, Jr. died at 16 years of age.

Franklin Roosevelt and Eleanore had 6 children: Franklin Delano died at 8 months of age.

Dwight Eisenhower & Mamie had 2 sons. Doud Dwight died at 3 years of age.

John Kennedy & Jackie had 3 children. Patrick died at 2 days old and John died after both his parents.

George Bush & Barbara had one daughter, Robin, die at 3 years of age.

In this sad world of ours, sorrow comes to all. It comes with bittersweet agony. Perfect relief is not possible, except with time. You cannot now realize that you will ever feel better. And, yet, this is a mistake. You are sure ot be happy again. To know this, which is certainly true, will make you less miserable now. I have experienced enough to know what I say.
- Abraham Lincoln

A quick note about BP/USA: I haven't been to a meeting in person, but I AM attending their gathering this July in NYC and will be presenting a workshop. You can get more info about the gathering here.