Happy? Halloween

Is anyone else not crazy about Halloween? I just don't find tombstones/skeletons/zombies that amusing anymore. It makes me shudder that when my oldest daughter was little I dressed her up as a baby angel for her first Halloween. What was I thinking? I can't even look at those photos anymore. And most the skeletons and skull decorations are not full size, so I keep thinking they are exactly child size.

Anyway, just having a kind of weirded out week so thought I'd throw my ramblings out there to see if anyone else is having similar thoughts.

Hope this week is gentle for you-
emily

No right or wrong: part 2

Whitney asked a question in the comments of that previous post but I wanted to bring it up to the top and ask all of you what you do. Here is her question:

I had a question for you - what do you call Gabriel's birthday? I don't know how to feel about Anna's due date in December, when I know she probably wouldn't have come out that day exactly. But it seems morbid to call her day of birth a birthday, which is supposed to be such a happy party time. Thanks again for writing...Whitney

Whitney, thanks for your question. I also feel kind of funny about using the word "birthday" which to me brings up images of cake, balloons, party hats and little kids running around Chuck E. Cheese.

I know some people use the phrase "angelversary" but I've never been entirely comfortable with using that, I don't know why.

I usually just call May 10 "Gabriel's Day" or more often with my family "Baby Goldbug Day" which was his nickname before he was born. However, on that day we do some of the typical 'birthday' things like getting our family together, going to a special place, having a balloon (which we release) and eating cupcakes.

So, I wanted to ask the rest of you. What do you call the day your baby was born?
Thanks for sharing with us.

Sedona Grief Retreat: Oct 15

Kara Jones from KotaPress and Dr. Joanne C from MISS are hosting a grief retreat
in Sedona, AZ. I wish so much I was able to attend! Click here for more info.

Sweet Dreams. Little One

Andrea R asked me to post this beautiful poem she wrote after she miscarried a few days ago. ((hugs)) Andrea. Thank you for sharing this with us.
I'm so sorry for your loss.
peace-
emily

It feels un real, it feels silly.
I never held you. I never saw you.
I never felt you. I didn’t know you.
It's true though.
I miss you. I loved you. I wanted you.
I had no name for you.
I try not to blame me.
You and me, we were 1, you left me.
I’m angry & I’m sorry.
sweet dreams little one.
-Andrea R.

No right or wrong

In the interest of 'keepin it real' I wanted to tell you about a conversation my husband and I had the week before Gabriel's birthday.

Me: Did you get Gabriel's birthday off from work next week?
Him: When is it?
Me: Really? You don't know when it is?
Him: I try not to think about it. I just can't do that.

Try not to smack your husband when and if this happens to you.

Just because I mark it on the calendar and cautiously anticipate it from the minute the calendar flips around New Years does not mean I am right and he is wrong. We are both right. However you need to be to get through is right for you.


((hugs))
emily

Giveaway

UPDATE:
Thanks, everyone! Winners picked and items in the mail. Congrats to Michelle and Hilene.

I have a tshirt that I'd like to give away to someone who can use it. It is dark blue and says "Some people only dream of angels. I held one in my arms." It is size 2X. It has never been worn, and I'd like to pass it along to someone.

Also, does anyone have a baby named Emily? I have a bracelet that has the name Emily on it and inside the scripture "To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven." ~ Ecclesiastes 3:1" that I'd love to give to someone who would like it

I hope today is gentle for you
peace-
emily

9 years ago today

Gabriel came into my world for just a short moment. Happy birthday, baby boy.
Thank you all for your kind words and thoughts.
Hope today is gentle for you all.
((hugs))
emily

Mother's Day

I'm repeating my post from last year. I wish you a gentle weekend. ((hugs)) emily

This was written by Kara Jones. Click over to FaveCraftsBlog to read her whole post click here. You can visit Kara's blogs MotherHenna.com and Kota:Knowing Ourselves Through Art



...They were handing out fliers sharing the writing of Julia Ward Howe, first published in 1870 as a protest against the carnage and violence of the Civil War. This was a protest led by women whose sons had died! Bereaved mothers started this tradition of Mothers Day! In the beginning, this was a day of protest, an expression of horrified grief from bereaved mothers who were parted from their sons!! Wow. Okay. That’s a different spin.

So what did Julia have to say back in 1870? You read and see for yourself:

Arise, then, women of this day! Arise all women who have hearts, whether our baptism be that of water or of fears!

Say firmly: “We will not have great questions decided by irrelevant agencies. Our husbands shall not come to us, reeking with carnage, for caresses and applause. Our sons shall not be taken from us to unlearn all that we have been able to teach them of charity, mercy and patience.

We women of one country will be too tender of those of another country to allow our sons to be trained to injure theirs. From the bosom of the devastated earth a voice goes up with our own. It says “Disarm, Disarm! The sword of murder is not the balance of justice.”

Blood does not wipe our dishonor nor violence indicate possession. As men have often forsaken the plow and the anvil at the summons of war, let women now leave all that may be left of home for a great and earnest day of counsel. Let them meet first, as women, to bewail and commemorate the dead.

Let them then solemnly take counsel with each other as to the means whereby the great human family can live in peace, each bearing after their own time the sacred impress, not of Caesar, but of God.

In the name of womanhood and of humanity, I earnestly ask that a general congress of women without limit of nationality may be appointed and held at some place deemed most convenient and at the earliest period consistent with its objects, to promote the alliance of the different nationalities, the amicable settlement of international questions, the great and general interests of peace.

Julia Ward Howe
Boston
1870

Mothers Day came as an answer to Julia’s proclamation. It started as a ceremony of bereavement and then as a movement for peace and action to stop the senseless deaths of children everywhere. Our society can commercialize all they want. Because in my heart of hearts I know the real meaning of this day came from pain, loss, and grief — the same things I am prone to feel on any given Mothers Day. And from now on, when people urge me to celebrate the day, I tell them this:

I’ll celebrate with you if you will first mourn with me. It is the combination of the two that lends itself to the true meaning of Mothers Day!

This week

Today starts my least favorite week of the year- Mothers Day and Gabriel's birthday. I woke up so tense and my entire body aches. There are such physical symptoms associated with grief! I am going to really try to practice relaxation techniques this week and try to avoid unnecessary stress. And I think I'll start by unfriending my husband's aunt on facebook who feels the need to come to my wall and start spouting politics. And by scheduling a massage.

Prayer

I have noticed a difference in how I pray after the death of Gabriel. I no longer feel I can ask for things specifically. I do not feel I can pray for situations to be resolved or for things to work out how I want. Instead, I find that I pray that I am given the strength to deal with whatever the situation is. Just another way my son has changed me.

Heaven is For Real: Book Review

Ok, this one is pretty religiousy, needfully so. But there's one part I want to tell you about.

My mom had told me about this book and then I saw it at the house I was babysitting at last night. I skimmed and skipped most of it. I wanted to get to a particular point.

This little boy nearly dies and later talks about his 'visit to heaven.'. He told his parents that he 'has 2 sisters.' (You know he has one.) He said that when he was visiting in heaven a little girl ran up and told him she is his sister. She said she didn't have a name yet because the parents had not named her. Turns out his mother had a miscarriage she had not told her son about, and they had not named her. They didn't know it was a girl.

I know so many people have such different beliefs, and I don't know about this little boy and his visit to heaven, but I do think our babies are waiting for us.

((hugs))
emily

The Big Ball Project

This is something different than child loss, but a good cause I think so I'm posting it here for your consideration.

My cousin's kids have started a project called The Big Ball Project. They love soccer and there was a book with photos of kids around the world playing soccer. The kids in Africa did not have a ball- just a bundle of rags. Turns out it costs just $10 to send a ball and a pump to a kid who wants to play. Balls have been sent to Rwanda, Costa Rica and Marakkesh.

For the next 72 hours, they have a donor who will give $1 for every person who 'likes' The Big Ball Project on facebook. Can you take a minute to pop over there and do that?

And if you'd like to donate, just $10 can send a ball and a pump. I will do this this year for part of Gabriel's birthday present.

Wishing you a gentle day,
((hugs))
emily

Congrats, winners!

Ok, drumroll please..

The winners are:

For the sugar cookies: Natasha (aidensmom)
For the book Still.: Janice Copp
For the banner: Trena (raindrops)
For the Target giftcard: Karen Pal.

Thanks to everyone who entered- I've emailed the winners to send me their addresses.
Hope today is gentle for you-
emily

Giveaway! Feb 13-20 ENTER NOW

I thought I'd sweeten things up with a giveaway this week! Thanks to everyone who donated items. To enter, just leave a comment below (and an email where you can be reached.) For extra entries you can repost on Facebook or link from your blog. You can also respond to my newsletter. You can enter through Sunday midnight 2/20/2011 and winners will be announced Monday. Good luck, peeps!



Brittanie from Snickey Snacks has donated a $20 GIFT CARD to her site. If you are a local (Frederick or Montgomery County, MD area) you can use it how you like. If you live further afield that means some delicious SUGAR COOKIES are coming your way! I don't know what design but I can attest they are the perfect thing for a sweet treat.



Stephanie from Sweet Pea Project has donated a copy of her BOOK Still. Click over to her site to read more about this touching book. Please note that this prize will ship directly to the winner the first week of March.



My sweet sister who does the Aloha Remembered sand name photos for is donating a cute FABRIC BANNER to us. This is not a photo of the actual banner- I'm having photo difficulties. It is similar style to this, colors yet unknown.



And lastly, but not leastly, I will donate a $25 TARGET GIFTCARD (it probably will not be this rockin' peacock design but it spends the same.)

GOOD LUCK!

Two Quick Things

First- if you are anywhere near Lancaster, PA take a peek at this- a FREE event at a gorgeous location with an amazing woman. Check it out.


Second- it has been WAY TOO LONG so I think we better have a giveaway! Come back Monday to enter. I have some goodies I've been holding on to so you won't want to miss it. If you have something you'd like to donate email me at nick wilberg at hotmail dot com