Friday, September 4, 2009

Ideas to remember your baby at the holidays

Tamara emailed me, asking: "This is out first year without Luci and the 1 year anniversary of her death and I wanted to do things differently to find a way to inlcude her and her sister that died in '96. I was wondering what you did different at the holidays if anything after your baby died. Would you be willing to share your ideas with me? Thanks!"

I have heard several wonderful ideas of how to remember our babies at holiday time. And let me say, for me that starts at Thanksgiving. I haven't done all of these. Heck, that first year I was lucky to be out of my pjs and participating at all.

I love the idea to have a toast at dinner to remember all the family members not at the table. How wonderful! It can mean different things to different people.

Some people participate in an angel tree project or toys for tots. Some people make a donation to a charity of their choice.

Some people hang up a stocking with their child's name on it and ask family members to a service or write a note to put in the stocking. These can be read together as a family.

Some people include their baby in their holiday card by using a sticker or stamp that has special significance like a star, an angel or a butterfly.

I'd love to hear your ideas. What will you do?



Heather said...

Thanksgiving is a tough one-kind of hard to feel thankful (overall) the year you've lost a child (2, in my case). I'm still thinking about that one.

I'm planning to buy them Christmas gifts each year and donate them to a charity like Toys for Tots.

I have a friend who has a small, separate Christmas tree she does just for her son in her house. I plan to bring a small tree (hopefully I can find a real one in a pot that is small enough and can live outdoors) to my baby girls' grave and decorate it just for them. I am also going to buy each of them thier own ornament to remember them by. DH isn't crazy about the idea of putting up stockings for them, but I really wanted to.

I love the idea of having butterflies or angels or stars on the holiday cards. Thanks for sharing that idea, I plan to do that as well.

Anonymous said...

I also have a separate Christmas tree for Charlotte.

Upon her first year "Angelversary" I had an ornament exchange/dessert social at our house. We invited our close family and friends that supported us during that aweful first year. Everyone brought a *special* ornament for us (which we placed on her tree) and I gave everyone a glass bulb ornament with a hologram of her feet inside it.. tied up with a pink organza ribbon.

Every year thereafter I have bought a special ornament specifically for her and her tree. I have a mini-stocking that hangs from the tree with her initials on it. I planned to write her a letter every year and place it in the stocking.. but I haven't been able to do that yet.

Kara Chipoletti Jones of GriefAndCreativity dot com said...

Just sent an enews sharing this article about ideas for getting thru "start of school" pangs and entrance into "holidaze" season:


Unknown said...

For Christmas this year (it is our first without Carleigh) I plan on sending a picture of her to everyone who receives our annual Christmas letter. I am also going to put a stamp of either her hand or footprint at the end of our letter for her. There will be ornaments on the tree to remember our babies.