No right or wrong

In the interest of 'keepin it real' I wanted to tell you about a conversation my husband and I had the week before Gabriel's birthday.

Me: Did you get Gabriel's birthday off from work next week?
Him: When is it?
Me: Really? You don't know when it is?
Him: I try not to think about it. I just can't do that.

Try not to smack your husband when and if this happens to you.

Just because I mark it on the calendar and cautiously anticipate it from the minute the calendar flips around New Years does not mean I am right and he is wrong. We are both right. However you need to be to get through is right for you.


((hugs))
emily

Giveaway

UPDATE:
Thanks, everyone! Winners picked and items in the mail. Congrats to Michelle and Hilene.

I have a tshirt that I'd like to give away to someone who can use it. It is dark blue and says "Some people only dream of angels. I held one in my arms." It is size 2X. It has never been worn, and I'd like to pass it along to someone.

Also, does anyone have a baby named Emily? I have a bracelet that has the name Emily on it and inside the scripture "To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven." ~ Ecclesiastes 3:1" that I'd love to give to someone who would like it

I hope today is gentle for you
peace-
emily

9 years ago today

Gabriel came into my world for just a short moment. Happy birthday, baby boy.
Thank you all for your kind words and thoughts.
Hope today is gentle for you all.
((hugs))
emily

Mother's Day

I'm repeating my post from last year. I wish you a gentle weekend. ((hugs)) emily

This was written by Kara Jones. Click over to FaveCraftsBlog to read her whole post click here. You can visit Kara's blogs MotherHenna.com and Kota:Knowing Ourselves Through Art



...They were handing out fliers sharing the writing of Julia Ward Howe, first published in 1870 as a protest against the carnage and violence of the Civil War. This was a protest led by women whose sons had died! Bereaved mothers started this tradition of Mothers Day! In the beginning, this was a day of protest, an expression of horrified grief from bereaved mothers who were parted from their sons!! Wow. Okay. That’s a different spin.

So what did Julia have to say back in 1870? You read and see for yourself:

Arise, then, women of this day! Arise all women who have hearts, whether our baptism be that of water or of fears!

Say firmly: “We will not have great questions decided by irrelevant agencies. Our husbands shall not come to us, reeking with carnage, for caresses and applause. Our sons shall not be taken from us to unlearn all that we have been able to teach them of charity, mercy and patience.

We women of one country will be too tender of those of another country to allow our sons to be trained to injure theirs. From the bosom of the devastated earth a voice goes up with our own. It says “Disarm, Disarm! The sword of murder is not the balance of justice.”

Blood does not wipe our dishonor nor violence indicate possession. As men have often forsaken the plow and the anvil at the summons of war, let women now leave all that may be left of home for a great and earnest day of counsel. Let them meet first, as women, to bewail and commemorate the dead.

Let them then solemnly take counsel with each other as to the means whereby the great human family can live in peace, each bearing after their own time the sacred impress, not of Caesar, but of God.

In the name of womanhood and of humanity, I earnestly ask that a general congress of women without limit of nationality may be appointed and held at some place deemed most convenient and at the earliest period consistent with its objects, to promote the alliance of the different nationalities, the amicable settlement of international questions, the great and general interests of peace.

Julia Ward Howe
Boston
1870

Mothers Day came as an answer to Julia’s proclamation. It started as a ceremony of bereavement and then as a movement for peace and action to stop the senseless deaths of children everywhere. Our society can commercialize all they want. Because in my heart of hearts I know the real meaning of this day came from pain, loss, and grief — the same things I am prone to feel on any given Mothers Day. And from now on, when people urge me to celebrate the day, I tell them this:

I’ll celebrate with you if you will first mourn with me. It is the combination of the two that lends itself to the true meaning of Mothers Day!

This week

Today starts my least favorite week of the year- Mothers Day and Gabriel's birthday. I woke up so tense and my entire body aches. There are such physical symptoms associated with grief! I am going to really try to practice relaxation techniques this week and try to avoid unnecessary stress. And I think I'll start by unfriending my husband's aunt on facebook who feels the need to come to my wall and start spouting politics. And by scheduling a massage.

Prayer

I have noticed a difference in how I pray after the death of Gabriel. I no longer feel I can ask for things specifically. I do not feel I can pray for situations to be resolved or for things to work out how I want. Instead, I find that I pray that I am given the strength to deal with whatever the situation is. Just another way my son has changed me.

Heaven is For Real: Book Review

Ok, this one is pretty religiousy, needfully so. But there's one part I want to tell you about.

My mom had told me about this book and then I saw it at the house I was babysitting at last night. I skimmed and skipped most of it. I wanted to get to a particular point.

This little boy nearly dies and later talks about his 'visit to heaven.'. He told his parents that he 'has 2 sisters.' (You know he has one.) He said that when he was visiting in heaven a little girl ran up and told him she is his sister. She said she didn't have a name yet because the parents had not named her. Turns out his mother had a miscarriage she had not told her son about, and they had not named her. They didn't know it was a girl.

I know so many people have such different beliefs, and I don't know about this little boy and his visit to heaven, but I do think our babies are waiting for us.

((hugs))
emily

The Big Ball Project

This is something different than child loss, but a good cause I think so I'm posting it here for your consideration.

My cousin's kids have started a project called The Big Ball Project. They love soccer and there was a book with photos of kids around the world playing soccer. The kids in Africa did not have a ball- just a bundle of rags. Turns out it costs just $10 to send a ball and a pump to a kid who wants to play. Balls have been sent to Rwanda, Costa Rica and Marakkesh.

For the next 72 hours, they have a donor who will give $1 for every person who 'likes' The Big Ball Project on facebook. Can you take a minute to pop over there and do that?

And if you'd like to donate, just $10 can send a ball and a pump. I will do this this year for part of Gabriel's birthday present.

Wishing you a gentle day,
((hugs))
emily

Congrats, winners!

Ok, drumroll please..

The winners are:

For the sugar cookies: Natasha (aidensmom)
For the book Still.: Janice Copp
For the banner: Trena (raindrops)
For the Target giftcard: Karen Pal.

Thanks to everyone who entered- I've emailed the winners to send me their addresses.
Hope today is gentle for you-
emily

Giveaway! Feb 13-20 ENTER NOW

I thought I'd sweeten things up with a giveaway this week! Thanks to everyone who donated items. To enter, just leave a comment below (and an email where you can be reached.) For extra entries you can repost on Facebook or link from your blog. You can also respond to my newsletter. You can enter through Sunday midnight 2/20/2011 and winners will be announced Monday. Good luck, peeps!



Brittanie from Snickey Snacks has donated a $20 GIFT CARD to her site. If you are a local (Frederick or Montgomery County, MD area) you can use it how you like. If you live further afield that means some delicious SUGAR COOKIES are coming your way! I don't know what design but I can attest they are the perfect thing for a sweet treat.



Stephanie from Sweet Pea Project has donated a copy of her BOOK Still. Click over to her site to read more about this touching book. Please note that this prize will ship directly to the winner the first week of March.



My sweet sister who does the Aloha Remembered sand name photos for is donating a cute FABRIC BANNER to us. This is not a photo of the actual banner- I'm having photo difficulties. It is similar style to this, colors yet unknown.



And lastly, but not leastly, I will donate a $25 TARGET GIFTCARD (it probably will not be this rockin' peacock design but it spends the same.)

GOOD LUCK!

Two Quick Things

First- if you are anywhere near Lancaster, PA take a peek at this- a FREE event at a gorgeous location with an amazing woman. Check it out.


Second- it has been WAY TOO LONG so I think we better have a giveaway! Come back Monday to enter. I have some goodies I've been holding on to so you won't want to miss it. If you have something you'd like to donate email me at nick wilberg at hotmail dot com

The Magic Quilt Project

"Be the comfort you want to see in the world"

Debbie at the Magic Quilt Project has a wonderful thing going. You can click here to read all about it but the idea is that you can send material that is stitched into a quilt. These quilts are then sent to people who need comfort. Kind of a worldwide hug.

I had sent some material in memory of my Gabriel. You can read that story here. And then that beautiful quilt that it was stitched into was sent to a friend of our family, Stan. My sister in law Amanda (on the left) delivered it to him. You can read more about his story in this post and this post. (I'm on the right. My sister Laura who takes the Aloha Remembered photos for us is in the middle)



Please take a minute and pop over here to read about Crash's nephew Matthew who died 12 years ago after living 12 hours. Those photos are so special- I see the love in his parent's faces. ((Hugs)) to Mathew's mommy, Melanie. And ((hugs)) to Amy, the first recipient of one of the Magic Baby quilts.

Now Crash has asked that those of us who have lost children to "join hands with the rest of us to soften the blow for others who are experiencing the same loss."

If you'd like to send flannel to her Magic Quilt Project it will be stitched into quilt blocks along with other quilt blocks honoring "other children who have finished their earthly journey." Your babies name, birth and death date will appear in the corner of his/her block.

Click here to visit the Magic Quilt blog to get more information about sending fabric.

((hugs))
emily

Word of the Year 2011 FOCUS

I've been such a slacker. I feel muddled, confused, unorganized, sluggish. I have really been considering what I want and how I want to get there but I feel like I'm in a constant state of playing catch up and can't get ahead.

So, I've decided that this year my 'word of the year' is FOCUS

I want to FOCUS on what is important
I want to FOCUS my energy and efforts where they will do the most good
I want to FOCUS on doing one thing at a time and doing it well instead of doing a million things incompletely

Instead of making 'resolutions' I have my 'bucket list' and will choose several things off of there to do this year. Things I am meaning to get to 'someday'. Well, 'someday' is now.

I'm working on a giveaway for February. If you would like to donate an item for the giveaway in exchange for a link to your site, let me know. Do you make jewelry? Do you have a book? Email me at nickwilberg at hotmail dot com.

peace-
emily

If you are driving distance from Delaware...

I'm not sure I'm able to make it to this but what a wonderful event!

Saturday, January 22, 2011 · 3:00pm - 6:00pm

Newark Arts Alliance, 276 East Main Street, Newark, DE 19711

Join authors and artists Janel Atlas, Nina Bennett, Angie Yingst, and Stephanie Paige Cole for an afternoon of making and sharing art, both visual and literary. All who have been impacted by the death of a baby at any time during pregnancy or infancy are welcome. Participants will choose among several guided workshop sessions and get to take their creations home.

Pre-register by January 12 and pay just $12, or pay $15 at the door; tickets cover materials and light refreshments. To register, e-mail Janelatlas@gmail.com or call 302.737.6088.

"If you know someone who has lost a child, and you're afraid to mention them because you think you might make them sad by reminding them that they died--you're not reminding them. They didn't forget they died. What you're reminding them of is that you remembered that they lived, and that is a great gift." -Elizabeth Edwards.