Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Looking for Peace

Possess yourself as much as you possibly can in peace; not by any effort, but by letting all things fall to the ground which trouble or excite you. This is no work, but is, as it were, a setting down a fluid to settle that has become turbid through agitation.
-Madame Guyon

I came across this quote. I think this is good advice for me, right now.

I have been so agitated the last few days. I can't settle down. I'm trying to clean my basement, so the rest of the house is trashed by the time I return upstairs. I've been yelling a lot.

I had a conversation with my neighbor that I regret (we have agreed not to discuss politics- we are on such different places- and I broke that agreement) and then I repeated it to another friend that I later realized wasn't such a brilliant idea either. I am anxious, on edge.

I dislike crowds. They make me nervous- such opportunity for one stupid person to harm a lot of others. So many people downtown today, in the cold... I worry.

They showed a woman on TV who drove here from Texas with her 4 children to take them downtown. She has no place to stay, no tickets to the event. And she came. And brought her kids- including a 2 month old baby. It is about 25 degrees. I worry about that baby.

I hope everyone is SAFE today. Warm enough. I'll be glad when today is over.

Sorry for the downer post. I've been quiet the last few days not wanting to spread my negativity. Everyone around me is estatic, excited, thrilled, celebrating. The news tells me it is a day of optimisim, a day of hope. I'm not feeling it. I feel alone.

I think I'll head back down to my basement. Don't mess up the kitchen while I'm gone.

(hoping for) peace-
(and a clean basement at the end of it)


Aaron'sMommy said...

I am not feeling it lately either. My husband and I are both kind of blah...We are in some kind of a funk and trying to get out of it. We may go away this weekend or for a night or SOMETHING. Just to get away. Do something to break the blah. I am hoping this is just a winter thing. I am not all that excited or hopeful for today either so you are not alone. You are in my thoughts.

The Stemkoski's said...

Just wanted to send you some (((hugs))) Emily and let you know I'm thinking of you and wishing you peace! Lots of love, Sonya