Tuesday, December 21, 2010

If you are driving distance from Delaware...

I'm not sure I'm able to make it to this but what a wonderful event!

Saturday, January 22, 2011 · 3:00pm - 6:00pm

Newark Arts Alliance, 276 East Main Street, Newark, DE 19711

Join authors and artists Janel Atlas, Nina Bennett, Angie Yingst, and Stephanie Paige Cole for an afternoon of making and sharing art, both visual and literary. All who have been impacted by the death of a baby at any time during pregnancy or infancy are welcome. Participants will choose among several guided workshop sessions and get to take their creations home.

Pre-register by January 12 and pay just $12, or pay $15 at the door; tickets cover materials and light refreshments. To register, e-mail Janelatlas@gmail.com or call 302.737.6088.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

"If you know someone who has lost a child, and you're afraid to mention them because you think you might make them sad by reminding them that they died--you're not reminding them. They didn't forget they died. What you're reminding them of is that you remembered that they lived, and that is a great gift." -Elizabeth Edwards.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

2 December Memorial Events

There are 2 special dates in early December- I'm going to repost my posts from this time last year (These photos were taken at the Angel statue outside of St. Louis, MO)

The story behind this angel statue is told in the book "The Christmas Box" by Richard Paul Evans. In the book a grieving woman mourns the loss of her child at an angel statue in a Salt Lake cemetary. There have since been over 80 Christmas box angel statues placed around the United States. They are dedicated as places of love and healing for all those who have lost children. Many of them have candlelight vigil ceremonies around this time of year. It is customary to leave a white flower behind. If you look closely at the angel statue there is the word 'hope' hidden in her wing.

To check if there is an angel statue near you, visit the site Christmas box angel locations

National Children's Memorial Day happens every year on the second Sunday of December and is observed internationally to honor the 80,000 children who die each year. Families around the world light candles at 7 p.m. in their corresponding time zones. As candles burn down in one time zone, they are lighted in the next, creating a 24-hour wave of light that encircles the globe. This remembrance ceremony provides the world with lit candles for an entire 24 hour period in order to honor the children we have lost, the children who lived and died, and who, even in death, continue to matter.

This year National Children's Memorial Day will be held December 14th

Friday, November 19, 2010


I know this is a difficult time of year. We are supposed to be THANKFUL, which can be dang hard when you are missing your baby. You are maybe surrounded by family and it is obvious your baby is missing. And maybe there are cousins or other kids there the age your child ought to be. And family members who may or may not be the most sensitive types giving advice on how to get over it or what you should be doing.

Yep. A hard time of year.

Someone shared an idea with me that I thought was brilliant.

She said when the family is sitting around the table they have a toast to remember family members who are not there with them.


It can have different meanings to different people, and it is something I can do without wondering if anyone thinks I'm bonkers.

Is there anything you do on Thanksgiving to remember your child?

Wishing you gentle days-

Sunday, November 7, 2010

From Audra, William John's mom

Audra sent me this email and gave me permission to post it here for you all. I think she expresses so many things I feel myself. Thanks for sharing, Audra.

Hi Emily!
Martha from St Killian's RC Church send the link to your site. I was
looking at your site and thought I'd share with you the things that
were the most difficult for me after our loss. First off, I'll tell
you that we lost our son William John died shortly after birth Jan 16,
2007. We found out at our 20 week ultrasound in Sept of 2006 that he
had a fatal kidney anomaly. It was heartbreaking. I feel so thankful
that we had any time wIth him at all and feel strongly that I am a
better person for having had William in my life. People don't get
that. It is a hushed subject - never to be spoken of. I agree with
something I read on your site - people, in general act as though I'm
doing something terrible to them when I speak of my son. That makes
me so sad because I really think of his short life as a blessing.

The things that were the most difficult for me:
I have two older children, both boys, then William, then a girl and
finally a boy. After I had my daughter many people (those that knew
about William) said things like "Now you got your girl". I felt it
was really discounting my precious son (not to mention the older
boys). I felt like telling people how happy we were to have a healthy
child and that really, truly I did not care about gender. I tried to
do this without being too preachy:-)

While I was pregnant but knew how sick our son was, many people asked
about my pregnancy, not knowing that our son was dying. It never
seemed like the right time to tell such people. I mean, if I was
never going to see them again then it was easy - I said nothing about
the matter (it was too painful) simply answered their questions. "We
are having a boy." "Yes, 3 boys" "My due date is February 10."
etc. But when I knew I'd be seeing people again it got tricky. How
was I supposed to answer someone casually asking about my pregnancy at
my son's kindergarten Halloween party? or at a soccer game? It just
never seemed like the right time. And so I went the remainder of my
pregnancy with none of these acquaintances knowing about our dear baby
boy's illness. It was easier with my younger son's pre-school class.
The teacher made an announcement to the parents as they picked up
their children on the day I was induced. But my older son was bused
to kindergarten. It was terribly painful to have people asking to see
my baby weeks after he had passed. I'm sure you can imagine the
reactions I got when I told people that our son had passed away. Some
people thought they has misheard me. There were quite a few stares
and, contrary to popular belief, I did notice when people were
pointing at me and whispering. I got through it though. I felt then,
as I do now that my precious son was with me. My desire has been to
respond with love and show people that if they see me as a kind,
patient person, it is in large part, because of the love I feel for my
son - what a better person I am for having known him!

As you may know, my greatest wish is that people would talk about my
son more often. I want to tell them "Please stop saying that I have 4
Kids. I have 5!" I don't want him to be forgotten.

Things that have helped me:
Something that really helped me was writing thank you notes to the
many wonderful people that helped support us as we carried, met, and
buried our son (You'll notice I used the term "we carried" that is
because my husband, an amazing man, truly carried William with me and
his loss/ grief is as deep as my own). I also sent lunch for the
nurses at the hospital on his due date - they were amazing and I
really wanted them to feel William's birth as a positive experience -
one in which they shared.

I also gave several talks on infant loss including 2 to nurses at the
hospital at which I delivered. I had pictures of William which I
shared. I see people that were at my talks semi-regularly and there
is a special connection that is there.

I also do small acts of kindness that I dedicate in my heart to my
beloved son.

Great job on the web site! It is so wonderful what you are doing.
I'm praying that the women that need your site find it and realize
that they are not alone.



One of the biggest changes in myself I've noticed is how I pray. I don't feel like I'm able to ask for specific things any more. Like, instead of "Please help me get a job" I find myself praying "Please help me to be ok with whatever comes".

I'm not sure I've shared this experience here, but I'd like to do so now. The week before my doctor's appointment had been crazy busy. My inlaws were expected and I was worrying about a bunch of stuff that was very important to me at the time (like, do I have a bath mat that matches my shower curtain?)

And, I don't know if anyone else does this, but I pray a lot in the car, while I'm driving. I guess because it is some of the only 'quiet time' I get.

So, I was kind of worried. I didn't 'feel pregnant' anymore. I didn't think I was as big as I thought I had been (in fact, I wasn't. Gabriel had died and my amniotic fluid was very low).

So, I was doing one of my 'driving while praying'. I remember trying to figure out if I should call my doctor and try to get in to see him sooner, but then thinking about how that was going to mess up my weekend and the upcoming visit with the inlaws.

I decided I was going to just wait until my appointment, and 'not worry until they tell me there is something to worry about.'

And I had a clear answer. The thought came to my mind very clearly that "Everything is going to be ok. And if it is not ok, that is ok, too".

I found a list I had made around that time of things I wanted to accomplish and goals I had. Everything from "find a way to quit my job and stay home with the kids", "better relationship with my husband", "attend church more regularly", and "lose weight". There were maybe 10 things on that list. After Gabriel died I realized that every single thing on that list was brought about by Gabriel's short life and then his death.

Be careful what you wish for.

This is a conversation I will have someday with my Heavenly Father.
me: "Really? Was that the only way to get my attention and accomplish those things?"

I can be thankful for the growth, if not for the way it came about.

Anyway, these are my musings on this Sunday morning.
I wish you peace and gentle days

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Spreading awareness

Julie C just emailed me a suggestion- to change your facebook photo to a candle or awareness ribbon for tomorrow, Oct. 15. How awesome is that? As a matter of fact I'm going to go do that right now.

Thanks, Julie!

I'd love to hear what else you all are doing to spread awareness- such creativity and good works going on in memory of our little ones. ;0)

Hope today is gentle for you!

October Newsletter 2010

...The Congress, by Senate Joint Resolution 314, has designated the month of October, as "Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month" and authorized and requested the President to issue a proclamation in observance of this month.

NOW, THEREFORE, I RONALD REAGAN, President of the United States of America, do hereby proclaim the month of October as Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. I call upon the people of the United States to observe this month with appropriate programs, ceremonies, and activities...

(taken from the 1988 Presidential Proclaimation)

With all the publicity and marketing of Breast Cancer Awareness, it is not really a shocker to me that people are unaware it is also Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. We are overlooked. At times I feel I have way too much 'awareness' of this topic, but I do know too well that the silence surrounding my baby's death is often the hardest part of it to take. The fact that it is taboo to talk about it. Like we are morbid or obsessed if we mention our child's name.

There is a school of thought that "Pregnancy and Infant Loss" is an offensive term. That it is used by medical personnel to give distance to the fact that it was a baby that died, NOT a pregnancy that was lost. I do see that point. But I'm not sure I have an opinion on this topic. As long as people are TALKING about it, I'm not so concerned about the 'phraseology'. I debated a long time about naming my site 'PregnancyLossRibbons.com' for just this reason, but decided ultimately that I wanted people to be able to find me and this is the most common term in use currently. Call it whatever you need to- there is no wrong way to grieve.

So how to spread awareness? Well, sometimes I am stronger than other times. Sometimes I have more energy for this, and other times I am using all my energy to just get myself out of bed in the morning. But I do have some easy suggestions, if you find yourself with the desire to do something. Wear a pink & blue ribbon. Do a kindness project and leave a note explaining it was done in your baby's memory. Particiate in a memory walk or balloon release. Write or call your tv station, radio station or newspaper. Put a cling on your car window. Tie a pink and blue ribbon around your tree or doorknob. Use pink and blue tape on your envelopes when you mail your bills this month. Donate some rubber band bracelets to your doctor's office or hospital. And do not feel guilty that you did not do more.

Another thing you can participate in (and invite others to particiate in) is the Wave of Light being held this Friday, October 15th at 7 p.m. If we all light our candles at 7 pm our time zone we will have a continuous wave of light around the world.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

I had an email from Jess, sharing her stepping stones with us. Thanks for letting me post this, Jess!! ((hugs))

The thing that was the most helpful for me has been meeting other women through Faces of Loss, Faces of Hope or from reading there blogs. And also from starting my own blog. With my first miscarriage (my second was 2 weeks ago and my first was 2/11/10) I did not want to be judged so I kept quiet like unfortunately most women do.

What was the most difficult was going through my second D & C - I cried from the minute I entered the pre-surgery area. People kept asking why I was so upset. I thought it should be rather obvious! The second which was the reason why I was so quiet the first time was people's reactions when I told them I had a miscarriage. They looked horrified! I was so offended. I am the one going through this not them - how dare they look offended because of my pain! I still can't get over that. Now I have a blog and I could care less. If it bothers them then they better not talk to me (lol) because these are my children and I will talk about them whenever I want to! The Sunday before Oct. 15th I am singing "I will carry you" by Selah at church and putting up a powerpoint of the words with the dates of my angels and the date of pregnancy loss awareness day. I am praying that nothing happens that will upset me. I mean I am SURE I will cry when I am done with the song (hopefully not during though) but I hope no one acts appalled.

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

"My hands are full"

We recently took a roadtrip down to Florida and did all the things you do in Florida-get sunburned, eat oranges, go to the beach, Disney, and snorkeling. It was a good trip. I was thinking about Gabriel a ton because it was nearly identical to the trip we had planned (and ended up taking) 2 weeks after Gabriel was stillborn. I felt a little like he was looking over my shoulder.

Now, let me tell you for a second about my kids. I have 2 older ones who are now in their teens. They were 3-4 when Gabriel died. And we waited years after his death before I could bear to think about trying again. And so there is a 8 year gap before my younger 2. I think it is fitting that hole is in my family. Because there IS a hole in my family.

People often comment on my kids. Either the "Oh, 2 boys and 2 girls- perfect!" which of course isn't perfect, there is supposed to be 3 boys. OR they ask about the 8 year gap. I usually just smile and thank them.

But I had a conversation with a lady that started kind of differently. I think that is why it caught me off guard, kind of.

Lady: "So, are these all your kids or are you babysitting or something?"
Me: "They are all mine"
Lady: "Wow!"
Me: "Yep" (they were running like lunatics through the parking lot at the Wild Bird Rescue Center)
Lady: "You sure have your hands full"
Me: "Well, that is better than having my hands empty"

Just kidding. That's what I wished I had said. What I actually said was,
Me: "Yep, in the best way possible"

Not a day goes by I still don't miss my little boy.
I hope today is gentle for you

If you're in the Lancaster, PA area

A few events hosted by Stephanie over at the Sweet Pea Project

Sweet Pea Project Plans Events for National Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness Month October is National Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness Month, and Sweet Pea Project has planned two events to raise awareness in the community and offer support to those who have suffered the profound and permanent loss of a child. Sweet Pea Project kicks off the month with Kids Cookie Creation Station, a three day long family-friendly event to be held as part of Downtown Lancaster's Art Walk at Mulberry Art Studios. This "decorate your own cookie" event is a great way to have some creative and delicious fun while supporting an important cause. Cookies are $2 a piece and 100% of the proceeds benefit Sweet Pea Project. Event hours are: Friday, October 1st from 5pm until 8pm; Saturday, October 2nd from 10am until 6pm and Sunday, October 3rd from 11am until 5pm. Mulberry Art Studios is located at 21 North Mulberry Street, Lancaster. More information is available online at www.sweetpeaproject.org/cookie

On October 15, Sweet Pea Project invites families who have lost a baby to gather together for the First Annual Balloon Release in observance of Pregnancy & Infant Loss Remembrance Day. The Balloon Release will take place in the grassy field in front of the amphitheater at Long's Park in Lancaster. The Sweet Pea Project team will be handing out balloons from 5pm until 5:45pm and the balloons will be released promptly at 6pm. Attendees are encouraged to arrive early and personalize their balloons. 100% compostable seed paper will be provided for family members to write notes to their child. The notes will be inserted into the balloons so that when the balloon bursts, the notes will be reclaimed by the earth and sprout wildflowers. Sweet Pea Project has taken precautions to make sure that this is an eco-friendly event. For this reason, no balloons other than Sweet Pea Project issued balloons will be permitted. Biodegradable balloons will be provided for free. There is no cost for this event and no registration is required. This event has inspired bereaved parents to plan similar gatherings across the world, including two in Australia. More information is available at www.sweetpeaproject.org/balloon

Sweet Pea Project is a local organization that offers comfort, support and gentle guidance to families who have experienced the death of a child before, during or shortly after birth. Sweet Pea Project was founded in January 2009 by Stephanie Cole, whose own daughter Madeline was stillborn in January 2007. Through her work at the project, Stephanie honors her daughter's short but precious life while reaching out to other bereaved parents. Sweet Pea Project has recently filed paperwork to become a federally recognized nonprofit and now includes board members Beth Gauthier, Nicole Spadea Jackson and Simone L. Lee. To learn more about how Sweet Pea Project is working to create a more compassionate community, please visit www.sweetpeaproject.org.

Sweet Pea Project is very grateful for all the support that they have received from the community. Kids Cookie Creation Station is sponsored in part by Mulberry Art Studios, Baby's Silkie and La Terra Bakery. Sweet Pea Project's First Annual Balloon Release is sponsored in part by Baby's Silkie, Charles F. Snyder Funeral Home and a private donation by Madeline Cole's great-grandparents, John and Marie Gallagher.

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Patches the Bear

I had a visit from sweet Patches the Bear. You can read more about his adventures on his blog www.patchesthebear.blogspot.com

I appreciated him dropping in, because all of my siblings and their kids were here- 16 cousins in all. I liked that Patches could represent my Gabriel.

((hugs)) to all

Sunday, June 20, 2010

To the Fathers

I wish you a peaceful and gentle father's day. We know you try to be strong for us; we appreciate the love and support you give us. We hope that today is gentle for you. We love you. ((hugs)) to the dads out there missing their kids.

Friday, May 7, 2010

For all of us Mothers-

“The moment a child is (conceived and) born,
the mother is also (conceived and) born.
She never existed before.
The woman existed, but the mother, never.
A mother is something absolutely new.”

Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh
(Indian Spiritual leader, 1931-1990)

I added the (conceived and)

The moment you find out you are pregnant you start loving and making plans for your child. You ARE a mom- I'm so sorry you child is not with you today.

I'm wishing all of you a gentle and peaceful Mother's Day


True History of Mother's Day

I'm lifting this from Kara Jones post over at FaveCraftsBlog- to read her whole post click here. And if you have a few minutes, visit Kara's blogs MotherHenna.com and Kota:Knowing Ourselves Through Art

...They were handing out fliers sharing the writing of Julia Ward Howe, first published in 1870 as a protest against the carnage and violence of the Civil War. This was a protest led by women whose sons had died! Bereaved mothers started this tradition of Mothers Day! In the beginning, this was a day of protest, an expression of horrified grief from bereaved mothers who were parted from their sons!! Wow. Okay. That’s a different spin.

So what did Julia have to say back in 1870? You read and see for yourself:

Arise, then, women of this day! Arise all women who have hearts, whether our baptism be that of water or of fears!

Say firmly: “We will not have great questions decided by irrelevant agencies. Our husbands shall not come to us, reeking with carnage, for caresses and applause. Our sons shall not be taken from us to unlearn all that we have been able to teach them of charity, mercy and patience.

We women of one country will be too tender of those of another country to allow our sons to be trained to injure theirs. From the bosom of the devastated earth a voice goes up with our own. It says “Disarm, Disarm! The sword of murder is not the balance of justice.”

Blood does not wipe our dishonor nor violence indicate possession. As men have often forsaken the plow and the anvil at the summons of war, let women now leave all that may be left of home for a great and earnest day of counsel. Let them meet first, as women, to bewail and commemorate the dead.

Let them then solemnly take counsel with each other as to the means whereby the great human family can live in peace, each bearing after their own time the sacred impress, not of Caesar, but of God.

In the name of womanhood and of humanity, I earnestly ask that a general congress of women without limit of nationality may be appointed and held at some place deemed most convenient and at the earliest period consistent with its objects, to promote the alliance of the different nationalities, the amicable settlement of international questions, the great and general interests of peace.

Julia Ward Howe

Mothers Day came as an answer to Julia’s proclamation. It started as a ceremony of bereavement and then as a movement for peace and action to stop the senseless deaths of children everywhere. Our society can commercialize all they want. Because in my heart of hearts I know the real meaning of this day came from pain, loss, and grief — the same things I am prone to feel on any given Mothers Day. And from now on, when people urge me to celebrate the day, I tell them this:

I’ll celebrate with you if you will first mourn with me. It is the combination of the two that lends itself to the true meaning of Mothers Day!

Saturday, May 1, 2010

Shakespeare's Hamnet

I found out something interesting. Did you know Shakespeare had a son, Hamnet, who died at age 11? Shakespeare had been writing comedies, but switched to writing his great tragedies in the years following his son's death. Within a few years, he wrote Hamlet. Really adds a whole new twist to the 'To be, or not to be' speech, doesn't it?

To be, or not to be: that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them? To die: to sleep;
No more; and by a sleep to say we end
The heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks
That flesh is heir to
, 'tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wish'd. To die, to sleep;

To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub;
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,
Must give us pause: there's the respect
That makes calamity of so long life;
For who would bear the whips and scorns of time,
The oppressor's wrong, the proud man's contumely,
The pangs of despised love, the law's delay,
The insolence of office and the spurns
That patient merit of the unworthy takes,
When he himself might his quietus make
With a bare bodkin? who would fardels bear,
To grunt and sweat under a weary life,
But that the dread of something after death,
The undiscover'd country from whose bourn
No traveller returns, puzzles the will
And makes us rather bear those ills we have
Than fly to others that we know not of?
Thus conscience does make cowards of us all;
And thus the native hue of resolution
Is sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought,
And enterprises of great pith and moment
With this regard their currents turn awry,
And lose the name of action. - Soft you now!
The fair Ophelia! Nymph, in thy orisons
Be all my sins remember'd.

and, from King Lear, where he recognizes his daughter is dead:
No, no, no life!
Why should a dog, a horse, a rat, have life,
And thou no breath at all? Thou'lt come no more,
Never, never, never, never, never!

Friday, April 2, 2010

Cards for Mother's Day

I know Mother's Day can be tough for those of us missing our children, especially if is your only child who has died. I'd like to send a card to anyone who would like one. Please email your snail mail address to me at emily wilberg at gmail dot com.


Good Works and Creativity- April newsletter

If I had a single flower for every time I think about you,
I could walk forever in my garden. ~Attributed to Claudia Ghandi

Chance is always powerful, let your hook always be cast;
in the pool where you least expect it, there will be a fish.

Turn your face to the sun and the shadows fall behind you. ~Maori Proverb

Have I really not sent an email for almost 3 months! Oh, my. Sorry about that.

I have a hard time in the spring. It is beautiful, with all the trees in bloom and little shoots of hopeful flowers peeking out of the mud. But the change in temperature reminds me that it will soon be May. Gabriel was stillborn the week of Mother's Day. I feel myself wanting to curl up in a ball and go to bed.

And so, I try to look outside of myself. To motivate myself to do some good in the world. At least for the weeks leading up to Gabriel's day I try to give to others. On his day itself I allow myself to shut down and make it all about me, but for the next few weeks I try to give.

I have heard the idea of creating our children's legacy. The idea that our kids are not here to create their own legacies themselves, so we have the responsibility to do it for them. By our kindness projects and acts of service.

I am always amazed by the generosity and creativity of grieving moms. That in the midst of their grief, they are able to reach out and help someone else. Way to go, moms! Your kids are proud of you.

There is no way to list all of the good works going on out there, but let me just highlight a few. Click their links to find out more info. If you have a project you are doing, I'd love to hear about it- send me the information and I'll post it on my blog.

Stephanie has the Sweet Pea Project, in memory of her daughter Madeline. She collects blankets to donate to hospitals.

Kathryn at Expectant Hearts blog has her project, Something for Seth, where she is collecting onesies, socks and pillowcases to donate to her hospital. They just remembered Seth's 2nd birthday, but it is my understanding this is an ongoing project.

Lisa's Waterfall Angels started in memory of her son Jasper. I love the gorgeous photo she did for Gabriel.

Lea's Angel Wings memorial boutique, in memory of her son Nicholas. I love the photo of Gabriel's wings she sent me.

The on-going project of my sister and I: Aloha Remembered. If you'd like your child's name written in the sand in Hawaii we'd love to do this for you. We do charge a small amount and then donate from the profits.

And I know many of you participate in March of Dimes in memory of your children. Send me your link and I'll post it on my blog.

((Hugs)) to all moms missing their children today.

Friday, March 19, 2010

Something for Seth

Kathryn from Expectant Hearts is doing a project in honor of Seth's 2 year birthday coming up March 27. Please click on over and find out how you can help her out. She is collecting items for their hospital PICU and needs all types of stuff. They can be new or gently used. Her email is kathryn.bonnett@gmail.com to contact her to get a mail to address.

I continue to be amazed by the strength, and generosity of grieving moms. What a wonderful way to remember her boy.


Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Lisa Leonard necklace giveaway TODAY


Run right over and CLICK HERE to enter to win one of these beautiful'marked by love' necklaces. While you're over there take a look at all her other gorgeous jewelry. GOOD LUCK!

Monday, March 1, 2010

Save the date: April 23, 2010

I wanted to throw this out there for any of you close enough to participate:

Share of Lancaster is having their 4th Annual Benefit Dinner & Auction: A Creative Exploration of Grief
Friday, April 23, 2010
6 p.m. - 10 p.m.

The keynote speaker is one of my very favorite people Kara Jones, of Mother Henna and KotaPress Very early in my grief journey I discovered her blogs and her ideas on Continued parenting. I am thrilled I'll be able to meet her in person.

This event is being hosted at Mulberry Art Studios in Lancaster. I happen to know that is code to say that Stephanie Cole of the Sweet Pea Project is involved in this as well. Another one of my all time favorite folks.

It is a benefit dinner and the cost of $50 includes buffet dinner. For more information or for an invite, e-mail shannon_zimmerman@comcast.net.

If you think you'll be going, send me an email. I'll be attending by myself and would love to meet up with any of ya'll


Monday, February 22, 2010

Waterfall Angels

Image and video hosting by TinyPic

I love this site- what gorgeous photos and what a wonderful idea. I am constantly amazed by the creativity and generosity of fellow angel moms. ((hugs)) to us all.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010


Megan sent me this gorgeous photo of Gabriel's name written in the snow- such a surprise to find this in my inbox. THANK YOU SO MUCH, MEGAN!

Thursday, January 21, 2010

The secret club none of us wanted to join

I know that after Gabriel died it seemed that I was running into pregnant women everywhere. The grocery. Church. Out running errands. And if they weren't pregnant, they often had little kids and babies. Lots of babies. Everywhere I went, seemed like.

I've heard other moms say they felt this way, as well.

What was hard to remember is that often we are also seeing moms who have had babies die. I have heard statistics that indicate that 1 out of 4 pregnancies results in a pregnancy loss. It may be as high as 1 out of 3. Crazy. Unreal.

So why do people not talk about it? Why must grieving moms feel so alone? What if there was a symbol so that we could recognize each other?

A while back I ordered some rubber band bracelets. They are very similar to the yellow 'lance armstrong' bracelets, but with different wording. The white ones say "Remembering Our Babies" and have little footprints. I have heard that dads are wearing these, as well. When it was requested to make smaller ones for siblings I ordered the pink/blue swirl ones that say "Remembering" with footprints.

I sell these bracelets on my site.

ORIGINAL bracelets are White, and debossed with the words "Remembering Our Babies". They also have a small baby feet symbol. These are an adult size. They are 8.5 inches measured around the bracelet.

PINK/BLUE SWIRL bracelets are SMALLER youth size for women with small wrists or for siblings. These say REMEMBERING and have the baby feet logo. They are 7.5 inches measured around the bracelet.

These are perfect for support groups, mementos for memory walks, or to use in fundraising. Bulk pricing is available, please email me at nickwilberg@hotmail.com. I try to keep a quantity in stock but may need to reorder depending on demand.


Friday, January 15, 2010

A Year to Live

So I started poking around on the wonderful blog at BCelebrated and found this Year to Live. What an eye opener. My word of the year is ACTIVE and I've been trying to get off my butt and do some stuff I want to do. But this takes it to a whole new level.

The idea is that many people, when diagnosed with a terminal illness live life more fully than they ever did before. So you can join the experiment to live 2010 as if it is your last year to live.

Now, I'm not going to quit my job and spend the year at Disney. But I am going to take this as a reminder to savor each day. Hug my family more. Waste less time worrying about my pant size.

To join, click here.

Time for me to go get off the computer and DO SOME GOOD


I have 2 posts about this site and it is kind of a chicken and egg.. which one do I post first? So read them both together please and save me agonizing over it any more.

Debra emailed me and invited me to check out her site BCelebrated.com It is a site to 'Celebrate your life, now and forever.'

Basically you create a page for yourself. You upload photos, your life story, poems, music. You can enter contacts. When you die your list is contacted and your page is a place for loved ones to come celebrate your life.

I have played around with it just a little bit, but can tell you that although it seems kind of morbid, it is actually very comforting to me.

For one thing, you can write private letters to family members. I love this idea.

You can also put instructions for family to follow after you die. And this important to me. Although I don't like to think about dying, it isn't as scary to me as it maybe once was. I know I'll see Gabriel again and he is waiting for me. But one thing I absolutely want to happen is when I am buried I want Gabriel's ashes buried with me and his name also on my gravestone. So he is always with his mommy.

Debra was kind enough to set up a discount code for us. STONES will give you 75% OFF the membership. You can purchase as many as you like for friends and family. So you get $100 site for only $25.00.

Thanks, Debra!

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Angel Wings Memorial Boutique

Lea from Angel Wings Memorial Boutique sent me this beautiful photo awhile ago. I absolutely love it. Thank you, Lea!

I want to point you in her direction, if you haven't visited her site already. I'm so touched to see all our children's names.

What a wonderful way to honor the love and memory of her son, Nicholas. And such a beautiful idea to help heal the heart of moms (and dads) missing their children.


Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Happy Birthday, Madeline

Thank you, Stephanie, for sharing this beautiful announcement for your sweet Madeline's birthday. We are remembering her today with you.

Stress to Success

I'm always glad for a new year and a new chance to start fresh. There is really not a big difference between Dec 31 and Jan 1 yet it feels HUGE! Like when you are kids and playing a game and then someone messes up and yells, "Do-over!" A chance to start everything anew.

I've had this list in my desk for awhile to share with you all. I think this is a good time.

I picked up a magazine Inspiration: Hawaii's Wellness Journal when I was visiting my sister last summer. One article in particular from the July/Aug 2009 issue jumped out at me.

It is called Stress to Success- in Just 31 days and is written by Dr. John F. Demartini. I don't know that much about him or his website but I DO know about lists. I love lists. I love crossing things off lists. It makes me feel so productive. Sometimes I make lists and include things I've already done just so I can cross them off.

Stress-to-Success Secrets
On a daily basis:
1. write and read your goals
2. Clear away your goals obstacles
3. Prioritize your activities
4. Act on top priorities
5. Visualize your success
6. Write and read your affirmations
7. Practice deep breathing and stretching
8. Do selective and collective reading
9. Groom for success
10. Dress for success
11. Love what you do and do what you love
12. Surround yourself with 'succeeders'
13. Drink lots of water
14. Eat light, moderate meals
15. Reduce the 4 'addictors' (I don't know what these are and he doesn't elaborate in the list. I'm going to consider it any addictors. Like diet coke, ha.)
16. Contract and then relax all muscles
17. Help others fulfill their goals
18. Save 5-10 percent of your earnings
19. Write 3 thank you letters
20. Reward yourself for your accomplisments
21. Express feelings of love
22. Hug someone special
23. Clean and organize your environment
24. Eliminate low priority 'unnecessities'
25. Study the subject you'd love to master
26. Spend time in total meditative silence
27. Massage your body or scalp
28. Take a hot bath before retiring
29. Count your blessings with gratitude
30. Get a good night's rest
31. Follow a stress-to-success checklist

I'm going to add one (ok, two) which are pray and read scriptures.
Better go get out of my pjs if I'll be 'dressing for success' today. It is nearly noon.


Sunday, January 3, 2010

Cherish Every Moment Cookbook Project

I had an email from Candice back in October when we were in the middle of my flooded house situation and spontaneous home remodel. (for more info on that read my post And the Rain Came Down)

She wrote:
hi there, My name is Candice Sonke and I was just looking at your website. My son was born June 7th of this year at 22 weeks gestational age, after 129 days in the hospital we just took him home (in October). He is a miracle. I have since started collecting the stories of others who have spent any amount of time in an NICU, along with a recipe to put together a cook book of hope.

I recently expanded the invitation to parents who have also lost a child due to premature birth. So I ...would like to invite you to also participate. I am in Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada and am working along side the IWK foundation to raise money for the Neonatal unit in Halifax NS. I hope you would be interested, feel free to also expand this invite to your family, and friends who may have also been touched by a premature baby.

If you have any questions please contact me by email pink262@hotmail.com or on facebook. I have a facebook page dedicated to premature babies called "Cherish Every Moment".

I look forward to hearing from you.
Candice Sonke

proud mom of Aidan-John Michael Quilty born 22 weeks 1lb 9 oz.

I responded in this way;

I appreciate your invitation to join your project. It sounds wonderful. But I wonder if I really fit- Gabriel had died before he was born, and then we were induced. I don't know if that is exactly the kind of inspirational story you are looking for,it is really kind of a downer. Let me know if you'd still like us to be involved.

and had this kind reply:
You know, every story is important for people to hear, no experience is more important than another. I think that your story while it may not be inspiring in the sense that most people would expect, it may help families to really see how blessed that they have been to have a healthy child. Its really your call, I do have families whose children have passed away sending in there stories for just that reason.

I appreciate Candice including us in her project. If you'd like to share your child's story with her contact her by email on on her facebook group Cherish Every Moment.

Good luck with your cookbook, Candice!

Speaking of recipes, I don't particularly like to cook but for New Years Eve I wanted to do something special for my family. I tried an elaborate recipe for Monkey Bread that used yeast and it was a total failure! Here is my old tried and true recipe (compliments of the good folks over at Pillsbury):

Monkey Bread
2 cans refrigerated biscuits
1/2c sugar
1t cinnamon
1 c brown sugar
3/4 c butter or margarine, melted
1/2 c chopped walnuts and/or raisins if desired

Heat oven to 350. Lightly grease a bundt pan with cooking spray. In large plastic bag mix white sugar and cinnamon. Cut biscuits into quarters, place in bag and shake to coat. Arrange in pan adding raisins and walnuts among biscuit pieces. In small bown, mix brown sugar and butter, pour over all. Bake 28- 32 mintues until golden brown. Cool in pan 10 minutes, turn upside down onto serving plate. Pull apart to serve; serve warm.

Word of the Year

So.. a few folks have asked me what my word of the year is. I've been thinking on it. I want something that inspires me, I want something that motivates me. I want to get going on my many projects. I want to be healthier, I want to lose 15 pounds. I want to walk a 50 mile stretch of the Appalachian Trail this year. I want to be organized, I want to be involved with my kids and their schools.

So.. I've been tossing it around and I'm going to pick ACTIVE.

from thesaurus.com (I'm combining two entries from there)
Main Entry: active
Part of Speech: adjective
Definition: having movement
Synonyms: agile, alert, alive, animated, astir, at work, bold, brisk, bustling, busy, chipper, daring, dashing, determined, diligent, dynamic, eager, effective, efficacious, energetic, engaged, enlivened, enterprising, enthusiastic, eventful, exertive, fireball, flowing, forceful, fresh, frisky, functioning, going, hard-working, high-spirited, impelling, industrious, in force, in play, in process, inventive, keen, lively, mobile, movable, moving, nimble, on the move, operating, operative, perky, persevering, progressive, purposeful, pushing, quick, rapid, ready, resolute, rolling, running, sharp, simmering, speeding, speedy, sprightly, spry, streaming, swarming, traveling, turning, walking, whiz, working, zealous

Don't I want to be that person?

Here is my pep talk in my head:
Get moving!
Get going!
Go do something good today!

Does anyone else find it ironic that it took me a few days to do this?

I'd love to hear what your word is- leave a link below.


Just Out of Sight

My mom recently had 10 grandkids at her house on Christmas day. We were talking about how everyone had liked their presents and as we were going through the names she said “And then when Gabriel.. wait.. where did that come from?” Sometimes it feels like he is just around the corner out of sight.

Friday, January 1, 2010

I'm Famous!

I'm pleased as punch to be Ter's Follower of the Month over on her spankin' new blog With An Angel On My Shoulder- click on over and check it out! Thanks, Ter!