Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Early Days (and Nights) of Grief

I had this email from Claire:

My 14 mos old daughter Savana Ashlan had recently passed away on Dec.11,2008 from Acute Leukemia. ...we were so unprepared and had no idea she had this till it was too late..my heart is broken into pieces..i cry everyday when i think of her since we miss her so much. But to answer your question from your blog of what helped me the most to deal with her loss is having so much faith in God, hope and prayer but i have made her memory positive by promoting awareness and contributions in her memory to The Leukemia and Lymphoma Society...many people have made donations in her name..i also believe having support from family , friends and neighbors are important and comforting..

I surround myself with angels- figurines, pictures of her around the house..remember her in the happy moments and memories we had with her, her smile the most. I've been trying to talk about her more in a positive way, the good times we had...but now the difficult thing i still struggle each day is at night, when everything is quiet,can't sleep right away since i constantly think about my baby girl and how i miss her just being with me and when i see other little baby girls it still breaks my heart - knowing my baby girl is no longer here.

Claire


I thank Claire for sharing so much with me and with us. I think she expresses so well how the early days feel as we learn to live without our darling babies, and how we can try to 'create our children's legacy' by making their memory positive.

For more info on Leukemia or to donate to the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society, click the link below.

Leukemia & Lymphoma Society

((hugs)) to ((Claire and Savana Ashlan))
Wishing us all gentle days-
peace-
emily

4 comments:

Emalee said...

I know what she means about nights. that is when I have the hardest time.

Heather said...

I often tell people that I'm scared of my own bed. That's when I do the most thinking. I'm contemplating taking my PC to bed with me. It seems like the perfect time to blog. I bet my DH would just LOVE that! I'm glad that there are so many women out there who are able to turn their child's memory into a "positive" thing. Kristen, http://peanutsmom.blogspot.com she's a great example of that. People do acts of kindness in her son's honor. I would love that for my son, I am just clueless how to even go about doing that. So kudos to you moms who can.

Claire said...

I just wanted to add that today is 3 months since Savana had passed away...and everyday we always think about her and still at certain nights, i will just begin to cry in bed....from knowing she is no longer with me in my arms..i also been visiting local Hallmark stores where i walk around to find inspiration...i buy anything that will give me some type of comfort to remind me that Savana is always around me visually in a positive way..i continue to find connections and ways to keep her memory alive through awareness, fundraisers etc. There are many good and kind people out there that will help and support you...since being in this club of having a child loss i call it...is really crummy...but we just have to move forward since thats what our children would've want us to do...

Babs said...

Nights were always the worst.

During those first few months afterward, I kept myself busy with mindless busy work all day. My focus was laser-like on whatever task was in front of me.

At night though, there was nothing to do and it all would come flying at me. :(

Support groups of people who had gone through similar experiences helped me a great deal that first year.

xoxo