Next weekend I'll attend the Bereaved Parents of the USA conference and do a workshop on how to include your baby in family traditions. I know so many traditions have to do with holidays and I wanted to ask- what holiday is hardest for you, and do you have any ideas to help get through them? I know a lot of you have more recent grief, so I'm hoping we can help you anticipate and get through some of these days.
peace-
emily
Monday, June 29, 2009
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We just lost Seth in October. ALL the holidays were hard because from Halloween through Easter would have been his firsts and Mother's day on, we were remembering having him with us for that holiday the year before.
I would love to hear your holiday suggestions, especially how you incorporate with other children.
I DID buy Seth a "first Christmas" ornament as I have for all my other kids. And his brothers helped me pick a stocking we hung for him but we didn't do anything with it...
So far we've been through Easter, Mother's Day, and Father's Day. For me, it wasn't as bad as I expected. For Christmas, I would like to get a special ornament for Carleigh that will hang on the tree every year.
I think this question is interesting because I suspect it depends in part on where your lost baby(ies) fit into your family. For us, our babies were our first, so we had no traditions (involving children) in place already. It will be interesting to see how we handle holidays if/ when other children come into our lives.
For now, we have Christmas ornaments for our babies, and we've spent some of the holidays in the park with their memorial trees, so - we had a picnic for Easter and Fathers' Day this year. Mothers' Day we spent participating in the Preeclampsia Foundation Awareness Walk in their memory, and I hope that is a tradition we can continue forever.
Em, feel free to reference or use any of the ideas we have posted on the main Kota site or the blog:
http://kotapress.com/section_articles/holidays/index.htm
http://kotapress.blogspot.com/search/label/Holidays
Sooooo wish I could be at the conference to meet up with you and attend your workshop!! Will be thinking of you...
miracles,
k-
I think Halloween through Christmas will be hard. My baby was due a couple of days before my birthday in October. This was supposed to be a year of firsts. My foster- daughter was asking me tonight if I was going to ever have a baby, she's four and I didn't know what to tell her. Especially that she is with us because our baby isn't.
Kathryn- I do think all the firsts are really hard. I'll be sure to post back here after the workshop. I always like to hear what people suggest- they come up with such good ideas I have never thought of. I'll try to ask them how they incorporate new traditions with other kids.
Holly- I like to get ornaments for Gabriel, too. I have always thought about doing a separate little tree for him, with white and crystal ornaments.
Bluebird- I think you are right! I hadn't thought of it that way before. I like the idea of attending an awareness walk
Kara- your site is always such an awesome reference! I will be sure to check out those links
Corilee- the firsts are always hard. I thought the whole first year was a doozy. I know some families are in that situation where the child they have is with them because of the child that is gone. It is like that in our family, too. I know I think of that often and consider it a gift Gabriel gave me.
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