"Merry" Christmas

Gee, I stink at this blogging thing. I have not posted much this year. I'm not sure why- busy, I guess? And the fact that my time on the computer is rare these days. In any case, I wanted to wish you a 'Happy' Holiday season. For me, I mostly want to have a quiet and peaceful time with my family. I usually participate in a giving tree, and pick a boy Gabriel's age to buy a gift for. I light a candle to remember him. I exchange cards with some moms I have met who also are missing their babies. What kinds of traditions do you do? Do you do anything special in honor of your child?

This came across my inbox today and I wanted to share it. I absolutely am not telling you to SHAKE IT OFF that your baby died. I am glad for the reminder that each trial I have makes me who I am and I can let them bury me or I can let them lift me. I have grown and changed so much by Gabriel's short life. I still think of him every day and hope I am the kind of person he would be proud to call 'Mom' One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey. He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. At first, th e donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement he quieted down. A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well. He was astonished at what he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up. As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off! MORAL : Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a steppingstone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up.

Wishing you all a gentle Mother's Day- I hope it is a peaceful day for you. I'm so glad this week is nearly over; it's been a tough one.

My mom is visiting my sister in Hawaii to help her with the move and they did one last sandname for me. I love it. Aloha

Happy Birthday, Gabriel. 10 years. Sigh. I think of him as a baby but he would be getting big. A quiet day... My husband took the day off and watched my daycare kids so I could stay in my PJs until noon and then I went out for a massage and pedicure. This evening we went to our 'normal' spot (a nearby church cemetery) and let a balloon go and ate brownies. This year we also blew bubbles. It was sweet.

S.K. sent me this email:
The best advice and the most hope I gathered after the death of my baby was my psychiatrist's candid and loving response: "You will never get over this; but in time the pain will hopefully lessen and fade away."

The minute he uttered those words, "you will never get over this," I immediately felt a large boulder fall away from my shoulders. Not much later, I realized he had given me permission to feel and hold my grief and cherish it so that I might someday leave it and heal.

Five Art Exhibit in Lancaster, PA

If you are within driving distance, join us for a community reception at the Mulberry Art Studios in Lancaster, Pennsylvania January 15 from 1-4 for the art exhibit Five. Stephanie organized this to honor her daughter, Madeline, who would have turned five this week.

All of the artists are parents who have had a child die. My husband is one of the participating artists with a sketch he did of me.

You can see a newsclip by clicking here.

You can read more about the Five art exhibit and Stephanie's Sweet Pea Project by clicking here.

Dr. Joanne Cacciatore from the MISS Foundation has said it so well on her blog.

MISS Foundation families were shocked to hear the comments issued from Alan Colmes on Fox News on January 2, 2012. Mr. Colmes’ reference to Mr. Santorum's baby who died, and his desire to spend time with the baby's body during the postmortem period, as "crazy"

If you are as disturbed by this event as I am click here to read Joanne's complete post.

((hugs))